you guys were way drunker than both of me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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