"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
