I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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