Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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