Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize