Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
