If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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