I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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