Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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