What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
