you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
