I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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