She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
