do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
