ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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