Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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