I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
