I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
