yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
