that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
