what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
