Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
