You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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