How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
if only i could text you this smell
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
