The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
