Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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