I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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