if only i could text you this smell
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
