I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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