i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
how does that bad decision feel?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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