it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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