If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
