If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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