How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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