Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
