I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
