he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dick very happy bro
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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