Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
