i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
