She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
