wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
