i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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