And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
