Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
3 2 1 whiskey
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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