All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
