She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
