I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize