I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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