Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
