OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
