I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
