I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
