i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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