well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
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the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
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Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers