sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.