so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS