Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.