Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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