wakey wakey hands off snakey
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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