Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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