i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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