the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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