that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
