We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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