I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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