turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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