we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
