Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
